Ok, I lied about the lapse ending. Oy. So I was gone this weekend, had lots of work to do, and generally have been letting daoc and my renewed membership in the Order of the Cross eat my life. Shut up and leave me alone.

But point being, I'm wanting to gush about something. Namely, Erik.

He's been helping me with (read, doing allot of) my coding homework this semester. And hes so cute when hes being an uber geek and writing functions I would never have thought of just to impress me. Some girls like their men to flex and strut for them. I like mine to show off how l33t he is with his code. And his code has been very l33t, even when writing basic crap. *oogles, and swoons* Ok yea, I'm a sucker for a man who can code bit level C, shut up.

Sure, sometimes the geek ego gets to me. Like when he bitches about my logic, or when my computer doesnt like his network. But its cute, even then, in a strange, twisted way. It's hard to explain.

Lapse ended.
Yay. Now - let me figgure out exactly to tell you this long and sorted story of corporate botchery.

Last Monday, the 9th, my video card finally fried its self into near unusability. So, I called Dell, and ordered a new one, and payed a nice $50 to have it shipped to me within the week. Nice and simple. So I wait. Wensday, the laptop finally become totally unusable. Friday, I get to go pick up my video card from UPS shipping. I get home, open the box....

Oh shit.. thats not a video card.

What was in the box? A port replicator. I call Dell, ask what it is they sent me. They say a video card. I blink. I read them the model number on the part. They blink. So... Monday I have an airborn express guy pick up the errant box. And this morning, I am awakend to the arival of my new video card, like an early morning dream.

Its installed. It fixed the problem.

Yay.

Something from the Megatokyo forums:

A fallen angel
reminded of her heaven
In dime-store eden.

--Rowan Bristol

Break time, between classes. A sort of vauge depression is clinging to me, a sence of helplessness and boredem since my defining trait of personality exterior to myself, Shingami, is malfunctioning. No longer am I the "Geeky girl in the corner with the laptop that has all the neat modifications to its OS" but now I am the "frumpy looking chick in the corner with the computer she doesnt know how to use which is broken" - maybe I read too much into the looks other people give me, or maybe I am too self critical, too expecting of people to judge me poorly. Dreading going to my C++ class - the professor looks sharp, and I'm afraid he may be one of the sort who has the "girls cant be geeks" attitude. Worse still, what if he is a Chix0r geek, who thinks the only role of women in IT is to be cute and pester their boyfriends to fix their computers.
Ahhhrrrrgggghhh. Too many unknowns, and too much Geek and Academic Ego getting in my way. I want to work on my web site. I want to work on fan fic, I want to work on anything! Just give me something to do other than write responce papers for BioMed Ethics and use other people's computers.
Speaking of BioMed - dreadful things are affoot. Someone I have avoided at all costs is in the class, a certian someone from my past who I still deeply loath, though now on a much more fundamental than direct level. An entire semester of him in a Philosophy class.... with him sitting RIGHT in front of me, thanks to the location of the only two power outlets in the room. I can only hope he can Feel the hot glare of distaste borring into the back of his head, right into his Lamdoidal sutures, urging them to fuse and SQUISH his brain until it oozes out his ears.
Did I ever mention the advantage of being a BioAnth geek is being able to invision all sorts of grotesque ways for people to die?

So as you've probably noticed, there has been a lapse in my posting.
For once, its NOT MY FAULT. Well, it still sort of is, but anyway.
I was bitching about my PS not working. It's working now.
Now my laptop is on the fritz, slowly but surely buring its video card into submission and pixelation. So, while waiting for the part, I am stuck on my ass for the first week of classes with NO laptop except for what little use I can get out of it between reboots and cool down periods. Which, on the average, is about 15 minutes at a go. Not good. Not good at all.
*grumbles* So anyway, Posts will be sporatic until I get the laptop fixed. And that's a damned shame, because I have some good ones in my head.

74.55621% - Geek God
Thanks to the GeekTest

I grew up listening to this man's voice... I had no Idea how many characters from my childhood he was until now. He was the Ghost Host, Shockwave, Wild Weasil, and SO many others. He still does voice work, even in Justice League and Castle in the Sky.

Corey Burton. Good God.

My favorite disney lyrcis ever... from an old movie they used to show at the park...

Magic Journeys

Just an ordinary day
All at once you're on your way
To a place that cannot be
No one knows what turns the key

You have found a thousand eyes
Whirling images arise
For a moment they are clear
In a flash they disappear
In flash they disappear!

Magic Journeys
Mystic flights
On the wings of unexpected sounds and sights
Magic Journeys
Are they real?
Do they mirror what we think or sense or feel?
Neither dreaming, nor pretending
No beginning, and no ending

You are splashing in the stream
Of an un-remembered dream
You are searching through the eye
Of a seeker in the sky

Magic Journeys
Magic Journeys

You are riding on the winds
Where the universe begins
Through the atoms that repose
In the heartbeat of a rose

Magic Journeys
Mystic flights
On the wings of unexpected sounds and sights
How we travel
Why we go
Is a secret we will never, never know
Neither dreaming, nor pretending
No beginning, and no ending

No beginning, and no ending........

Something more positive

Little April Shower

Music composed by Frank Churchill.
Lyrics written by Larry Morey.

Drip, drip, drop
Little April shower
Beating a tune
As you fall all around

Drip, drip, drop
Little April shower
What can compare
To your beautiful sound

Drip, drip, drop
When the sky is cloudy
Your pretty music
Can brighten the day

Drip, drip, drop
When the sun says howdy
You say goodbye right away

Drip, drip drop
Little April shower
Beating a tune
Ev'rywhere that you fall

Drip, drip drop
Little April shower
I'm getting wet
And I don't care at all

Drip, drop, drip, drop
I'll never be afraid
Of a good little
Gay little
April serenade

Fucking CRAP.

Here I was, smack in the middle (almost litterally) of a replay of Final Fantasy 8, trying to actually beat the damned game this time, as that its the only Final Fantasy (other than 10, since I dont own a PS2) that I haven't beaten, and my freeking PS, second hand and old as dirt, finally desides to kick the wonky bucket on me. Now I admit, this PS had its problems when I got it - primarily a sticky Open on the CD cover. But this... this is a new thing it started doing about a week ago, intermitently, and now seems to be TERMINAL.
Pop in game, turn on PS. Nice boot screen, loads game. Analog light on controler may or may not come on. Then, one of two things will happen, with about 50% chance either way. One - No responce from controler. I can press anything I want, the PS just sits and does the game intro, with maybe a little bit of blinking in the screen, but not much. Two - get into game menue, hit continue... loads to memory card select screen - freezes, controlers stop responding, whee.

Great. Just F-U-ing great. FUCK.

Could the damned thing not have held out another year till I can get my hands on THIS baby.

The Heretic started through her for a moment before saying, in a strange and breathless voice, "Out of the ground came scarlet flares, each one bursting, a heart's beacon, and He stood above the night and the red swirling cold sand and in His hand held up the Ace of Diamonds. It burned like the flares. He offered it forth, laughing and said: Can you dig it?"

---Kage Baker, The Empress of Mars

Terror is a Tarot of LEGO.

The rain is falling.
The last streams of alcohol from an afternoon/evening of drinking are leaving my system. Coming down from it in its own way.
Acceptance by those who should not be my peirs. Graduate students. Why did I go? Because I wanted to. I like them, and I like them even more now.
Looking forwards to next semester. A weeks worth of paperwork for Honors Thesis stuff before my advisor leaves the country. Then Limbo.
Always Limbo.
Waiting for it to come to term. Waiting for the fruit of the seeds I have planted to ripen. Waiting. Limbo. Eternity.
So short a time! So much to do! So little time, so little time left as an undergrad - a year. Left. Left behind?
So many people I know moving on. So many things I have touched moving on. Outgrowing me.
Have I outgrown them? Or am I a husk, the cicada skin on the tree, left behind?
Left behind?
Leaving behind?
Does it matter, any more?